I know im stupid and I've hurt you.
Forgiveness for this mistake is what I ask.

Perfect I am not nor will be;
if I were so, I wonder who was God!

My life and love you are,
lets smile and make up again.
For I promise not to hurt you;
Hurt you this way again.

My life and love you are, and will be till the end of times.
Im just a man and yet again on my knees.
Forgiveness is what I ask,
guilty I will be without which.


This ones for you again Liya. Hope you like it.

Far you are and I here,
Find my eyes meandering seeking a glimpse of you.
An infliction of pain I can't explain, every attempt in vain.
For my motions being subjects of the heart.
Far you are and I here.

I hear a voice,
bemused I am.
I run so fast towards the voice.
Where are you? I scream so loud.
Over again, im on my knees.

The rush of blood, my temples hurt.
Tears I feel roll down my cheeks
You were the light, where are you?

I hear a voice,
It's you my life.
I hold you close and love you much.
Detest the dream; I never trust to be real.

"No cord or cable can draw so forcibly, or bind so fast, as love can do with a single thread."

I want to run, run across borders, and jump over fences.

Borders? Fences? What for! Well it’s for you my friend you belong to the east a portion of land called a country. A country? I ask. What’s that supposed to mean? Aren’t we all humans made from the same soil by a distant supernatural being? Thought we were to live with compassion, humanism and love unconditionally.

No don’t try that, step back!! My orders are to shoot. You are a nice man but you can’t, it’s not permitted without a passport, without a visa……..

This is my land! I belong here!!!

Mother Earth what have they made of you. Borders, crossings, cultural gaps, countries...
I want see you Mother, from the distance in the North to the South from the East to the West.

I remember, once there was peace. We feared the occult. We travelled freely for I discovered places and met people. Who was I? A human again but yet far more human!

I want to live, yet again! See faces and different places without restrictions. I want to run, run across borders, and jump over fences.

I'm in love with everything
With every face I've ever seen
And every place I've ever been
Has left its mark upon my worries

I color in the world I see
I pick apart the melody
'Cause maybe there's a symphony
Caught inside but there's no way out

And the sky is falling down
And there's an angel on the ground
It's getting colder
I'm standing looking down
There's not a sound around the town
It's getting colder
Colder

I would show everything
But everything is too extreme
We'll wait and see the entropy
At the end when we all stop lying but the sky is Falling down
And there's an angel on the ground
It's getting colder
I'm standing looking down
There's not a sound around the town
It's getting colder

The sky is falling down
And there's an angel on the ground
It's getting colder
I'm standing looking down
There's not a sound around the town
It's getting colder

The sky is falling down
And all the people on the ground
Are getting colder
I'm standing looking down again
But you can't help me now
I'm getting colder

Pink, Blue, Orange and black.;
Colours I see.

Astound I am, thick make up with the purple fading of her eyes.
Life could have been better! she prays.
Her fake appearance besieges all.

It's the money her eyes say! I was a woman once!
I stand here tonight with a contrived covering hiding the inevitable.

I am I!! Curly hair, Sunny locks; Life has treated me well
but a delusory smile.
My skin the color of milk, Silk it is and I am the
infectious fragrance of what all desire.

I am I!!
The woman at the bar you couldn't resist.
The demon inside you, I am I the woman at the dance bar.

A perfect day it is,
Moms on the phone and dads hoping your alive.

Have you lost your job?
Your on the phone trying to figure the same.

Friends in distress hoping to sustain the crisis;
A pound for each!

Im upset, Oh hell yeah why not?
A perfect day it is.

A misunderstanding an argument,
my idocy it is.

Her hands in mine yet she's hurt.
I've pushed, made a fool but yes she's my love. Well
A perfect day it is.

It's her smile,
Emotions lay behind those beauteous lips.
I fall to my knees thunder struck,
only if I could buy her heaven.
Her eyes they are, brown they are.
Am I lost or just dillusional?

"Reckoner"

Reckoner
You can't take it with you
Dancing for your pleasure

You are not to blame for
Bittersweet distractors
Dare not speak its name
Dedicated to all human beings

Because we separate
Like ripples on a blank shore
In rainbows
Because we separate
The ripples on a black shore

Reckoner, take me with you

Dedicated to all human beings

Please don’t touch my PC. Now this can mean a lot of things, so let me specify

Don’t shut down the PC or Log me Off
You shouldn’t shut down the PC or Log me Off
You wont turn of the PC or Log me Off

You shouldn’t use my PC without my permission
You can’t use my PC without my permission
You won’t use my PC without my permission.

This also means you will not touch my keyboard or the mouse at my desk. It is rather disappointing to see people steal mouse’s from their colleagues desks.

The last time you stole my mouse, will throw some light on what you got your hands on.

The mouse was more than a year and a half old.
If nothing it was always under my stinking palm’s which sweat a lot.
I had spilt things like tea, dropped cheese and mayonnaise on it and just rubbed it of with my bare hands.
There was a layer of black filth stuck under the mouse which wasn’t cleaned since the time I got the mouse. Now I am not sure what the components were, use your imagination! ;)
Last but not the least. I have chronic sinus. So my keyboard and mouse both have been victims of the fluids I excrete from my nose and mouth when I sneeze.

Well it’s just a disclaimer taking into consideration the welfare of people who either intend on using my computer or stealing something from my desk. This is in interest of the common employee who may not be aware of the consequences of such an act. Let me throw some light on what can possibly happen:

Viral Infections
Bacterial infections
protozoa
Fungi
Multicellular parasites

For further information on the same you can visit http://www.scientificpsychic.com/health/hygiene.html

Hope you had a good time reading the above. I merely intended to educate you about the facts. :)

Thank you for your time.

-vagueadonis

Hmmm thought will not drink today but can't help it... Going drinking.. lol

Well haven't had the time to pen anything since quite a while now. Been too busy dealing with life and my alcoholism though i've been trying to cut down as much as I can. I seem to have put on quite a lot of weight. Well this would be the last bit of the backpacker diaries for now until March... Well Yes March it is when me and Mikhail are headed on a trip again and this time probably for more than 30 days. Well where we are going is decided but will let you fellow readers know later. :P

Well the next morning i wake up to the sunrise in Darjelling and go to the oldest and the most famous coffee shop around. A chicken burger and some amazing coffee costed me 35Rs. Rathan and I spent 70 totally for a heavy breakfast. We were out of funds already and needed to do something about it. Rathan happened to call a friend in Australia and we picked up funds from the nearest western union outlet. Darjelling was growing on me... The people are the place and the way things were, I just felt like staying back. It was in Darjelling that i was being asked by women if I were single and have a girl friend and weird questions. haha... They wanted to know my entire background 5 minutes into a conversation at their shops. Well yes I do have this obsession of picking up shoes, shawls, jackets and mufflers where ever I go... "Adds to my collection". Though I hate shopping I can be an impulsive shopper at times picking up lots of junk and it so happens I always have buy another back pack which eventually becomes a front pack. So in total a tent, a sleeping bag, a back pack and another bag on my chest... Hmmm now thats some weight, its all good over a period of time you get used to it. :) When people look at you they feel your a potter but only a backpacker would understand this way of travelling.

Rathan decided on leaving and he did leave early in the afternoon. It was after he left I felt I need to leave as well. There was some kinda quietness and I didn't really like it. We had been traveling together for almost a month now and we became the best of buddies. Wouldn't really mind backpacking with him again. :)

In a hurry I took the next available cab to Siliguri. Thats where Ratan was headed so he could take a bus and go to Calcutta and back to Bangalore. I reached only 15 mins before he could start of to Calcutta. Now came the moment of deciding. I was back on the road and needed to head to another destination. I asked Rathan to leave and wanted more funds so asked him to transfer the same once he is in Calcutta. I took of to Gangtok at 7 in the evening and spent only a night. The next morning I got back to Siliguri and to my left was Bhutan again 2 hours away... this is when sent a text to Mikhail from. :) Took a bus to Calcutta and stayed at a guest house called Capitol for 200Rs a day. The weather in Calcutta was quite nice... raining and everywhere around were preparations going on for Diwali and Kali Pooja. The first day i took a shower and walked around lindsay street and park street. Called a friend who gave directions to the taxi driver. A friend of his joined us and we polished some really old dry wine and I was already tipsy.

Drove around the city and went to quite a few pubs and discotheques. Soho was where we finally landed and what a surprise. I had 4 pints of fosters and my bill was 1000Rs. Well I haven't spent that kind of money throughout the trip on alcohol. This was literal extravaganza with women and men dancing away to Hindi Music. Why was everyone looking at me?? what was wrong with me?? It finally dawned to me that I looked like an alien to them with all the junk in my hands, legs, neck and my hair. Even my clothes seemed alien i suppose. Shorts and a T shirt with Slippers. lol. Yeah and how can i forget my beard.

Well whatever happened that night was quite nice. Though it was Hindi music and a discotheque yet it gave a feeling of the city being alive in the darkness of the night and people not being troubled for dancing and having fun unlike Bangalore.

The next day I woke up quite early and went for breakfast to a restaurant in the next lane. Had a very heavy breakfast which comprised of two chicken club sandwiches, Orange Juice and a glass of milk. No wonder I've been putting on weight.

Met an English couple and we decided on going out for a drink later in the night. Well we did go out for a drink and got so drunk that we didn't know our way back to our hotels. Some place else it was. A nice small place where live bands perform at the Park hotel but too loud for the space.

Well We did manage to reach our hotels eventually. The next morning I met Portugal woman who just reached Calcutta at the same breakfast hotel. She seemed rather charming and struck a conversation with me. Well this was interesting because she figured out I wasn't from the north for the way I speak and had all the good things possible to speak about South Indians. Well the moment of truth, i finally figured she's been back packing since the last 2 years and has only two more countries to travel to. Australia and Thailand and the lady told me she was in Calcutta only for a day. Unfortunately it was this day that I had to leave Calcutta because of Diwali being on the same day and it was extremely difficult to get a flight. I was running out of funds and couldn't really afford to waste any more time. With great difficulty I did tell her that I need to leave today but we can spend the rest of the day together and we did. We walked around on the streets of Calcutta. Park Street, Victoria and many other places doing some petty shopping and me buying sweets for my family. Well nothing interesting now I really did have to leave, my flight was at 5:00PM and I was mesmerized by this woman. :D hehe. I bid her goodbye and left to the airport and we promise we shall meet each other on our next long backpacking trip maybe in 2010. :)

Well before i left to the airport I ensure I gulped down quarter a bottle of Rum, i was going home... and yes home was calling. Though I don't like Chetan Bhagat I bumped into one of his books called 4 mistakes of my life. Reading the blurb which said the novel is based on a true story, inspired me to buy it for a quick read. Well I started the book before I got through the security check and completely lost track of what was happening after that. I don't even remember when I reached Bangalore and when I boarded a bus to get back home. By the time I finished the book I was already home and I was like wooow... that was quick, what happened??? lol... time travel???? Black hole??? hmmmm.....

Well im home I thought... and yes i was home... Now I await my next trip in March. Hope you readers enjoyed what you read so far.