Me: ohhh I like you...

Lady: --I like you too..

Me: Lets hold hands....

Lady: --yes yes lets hold hands....

Me: you have nice fingers...

Lady:--thank you....

Me: lets kiss...

Lady: --lets go with the flow....

Me: where's my kiss...

Lady: --No no not now... .

Me: When??

Lady: --Lets wait.. there are complications....

Me: Ok ok... i shall wait.

Lady: --****Chuckles*****

Me: Smiles.... One more beer please!! Needs to be cold... and a breezer for the lady.. Repeat please!!

Lady: --Smiles...

Me: Your gorgeous and im overwhelmed by the way you are.... Im all over you...

Lady: --****Blush Blush****

Me: Come to me soon, I'll be waiting...

Lady: --***Smiles**** holds hand tighter!!!

Me: Drinks happen..... she goes home..... we meet again and I have to leave the city.... Will be back soon... :)

Lady: --Sad that you have to go....

Me: I'll come and see you soon!!!!

****The End****

We left Pokhra and now wanted to head to gangtok but diwali was coming soon and because of strikes in UP and Bihar we had to take a diversion. So we decided on going to Khakarvita but realized its a 24 hour journey because of the flooded kosi. The dam's broken and we can't make it. A local advised us to take a bus to Bindubari which we did and ended up at Kosi and the broken dam. This was rather dangerous, a flooded river, 15kg+ of backpacks, 2 sleeping bags and a leaking boat. 50 Nepalese to cross the new Kosi route by boat with devastation all around and a 50 people on the boat. wooow... I dont know how to swim.. hehehe... :) We'll lets take the risk i say because we have no other go. Cross the river and then we realize we have to cover another 8 kilo meters of devastation on foot. Rescue camps, rehabilitation centers everywhere, sand instead of fields, gushing water currents and bridges made with thin bamboo strips and no railing on the sides. Well Rathan was scared to do this but yet again we had no choice. That walk was rather difficult.. It was like a river flowing in a desert with nothing or nobody around. I knew for a fact if one of us were to collapse we would die for sure as there was no one around to help.. Well will post pictures of the place later, however we managed to cross and tan ourselves. Finally boarded a bus to Ittahari. We didn't get a seat nor place to stand so we sat on the top, lemme be precise, we slept on the top. hahaha.. Not in a position to realize what we are doing or even thinking about. We reached Ittahari and then took a cab filled with 9 people to Pashupatinagar.

We reached Pashupatinagar and ate some chowmen and buff meet at a known persons restaurant here at the border. Too tired to do much we still managed to get another taxi and with a few guys we met who were from Bhutan and Tibet, we started of to Darjeeling. 3 Hours later we reached this place and Rathan’s health had already started deteriorating. We reached Darjeeling after travelling for more than 24 hours. Now it was time to rest but my mind was still working and I needed a drink. Rathan fell asleep in the hotel room and Manorama and I went for a stroll with the camera clicking pictures. Landed up in a place called Glenrys or something like that. An underground pub where smoking is still allowed. :D Had a couple of rums and my bill was like 140 INR... quite cheap for a place like this I thought. They let me connect my ipod and play tunes of my choice. Well the funniest part now... The owner of the place happens to have studied in the same city I live in... We became good friends and went out for a coffee the next day.... A much sorted, down to earth person who gave me quite a lot of complimentary alcohol. haha...

To be continued....

Now walked down the streets of thamel and a nice place filled with backpackers and hippies. Seemed like everything was legal out there.... Streets filled with meat shops, wild bores everywhere. Lots of cheap clothing and junk Jewelry, bags and trek equipment. We had something called as trekkers breakfast which comprises of 4 toasts and 2 scrambled eggs, butter and jam and started window shopping. Well window shopping didn't really go that well cause we ended up blowing quite a lot of money buying things of the streets. :(

late in the evening we walked to tantra bar opposite to Nepa music in Thamel. Quite a reasonable place with some loud and good music. Wicked sound system played a nice set and met a lot of locals and Indians whom i happened to know. Sarjeel joined us as well and moved in with us.

Drunk and tired that night we snored and slept like we were dead. Though I must say Thamel is not for families to go to. Live bands, Strip bars, Shower bars every 20 meters. Though wanted to but refrained myself going to these places, didn't really want to be surrounded by pimps yet again. hahaha...

Next day we went back to Tantra and booked our tickets for the festival. Paid 7000 INR for the two of us though we weren't supposed to pay. I couldn't find my source anywhere. He was already at the festival. Beautiful decor, music and location. Deep in the Himalayas towards the border of China. A river flowing next to us and a beach like location. The picture below will give you an idea of the place. We camped there in tents for 3 days and then got back to Thamel. Bumped into a few Bombay boys who hung out with us. Now we were staying right next to Tantra at the students guest house.

In the next two days all we did was drink, eat, walk on the streets and then finally left to Lubi hills which was freaking cold. I didn't want to get out of the sleeping bag during the night. Early morning was crazy.... Never anticipated but the sunrise seems to have brought the entire Annapoorna range into picture. White, the snow covering these gigantic mountains was one view. Far in the distanc ewas kanchanjunga and Mt. Everest. These mountains are so huge they almost look alien.




I still haven't received our pictures yet. Rathan has been too busy and converting more than 1000 images from raw to other formats is kinda time consuming. But yes once i have them will upload them to flckr.

We left to Pokhra immediately after we went back to Thamel. Pokhra is one place we should have spent more time at. We met few very beautiful people and hung out mostly at this open air lounge kinda place called busy bee. A very nice place with locals performing live and playing metal. We stayed in Pokhra with a family who rented out their rooms for 80 INR a day. Hired cycles and went to the Tibetian refugee camp and also shanti falls was that the name?? Not too sure. Here Rathan seems to have lost his puma's. He loved those shades and was kinda low the rest of the day. While he was going through agony, I was busy socializing and meeting people. I happened to bump into Amy and Katie whom we went out for a drink with. Very interesting people who had a complete misconception about Indians before they met us because of their surprising encounters with men in Varanasi. Well these women teach english in South Korea and they sold me the idea of moving to Korea and teaching English. I really wouldn't mind working 6 months in a year and travel the rest of the year. Well Pokhra was done and now we needed to head.

i became quite aggressive last night.. seemed like i was in an alternate reality bumping into acrimonious people refreshing faint memories of a remorse filled past.....

Back home after quite a long vacation. I left home on 8th of October with just a back pack. It so happened that I missed my train, the stupid 24 hour clock. Grrrr... So i took a flight to Delhi and landed at 12:30 Am. On a friends suggestion we headed straight to Paharganj which is the closest place to the railway station. Delhi took me by surprise as had never seen such crazy and weird things ever. When paying the taxi after getting off at Paharganj, the driver tell me "Stay away from pimps." Now to our surprise the moment the taxi left we were surrounded by a 100 pimps and agents trying to hook us up with something or the other. Fortunately the tired look on my face and my shabby long hair worked too our advantage. One look and most of them walked away. Rathan and I were extremely tired for we kept running around the city before we boarded the flight. We rented a room at a hotel called oxford somewhere on the back street for 400 INR a day. A dark and shady road which gave me the spooks. The people at the hotel were quite wierd as well. We were asked to show different ID cards. They wouldn't accept my PAN card but the drivers liscence would work. We posed together in front of the camera and smiled. lol. this was funny.

We went to the room and realized there was not a single window to it. A crampy little washroom. We had to survive just the night.

The next morning we checked out of the hotel and left to the railway station. Here again to our surprise, surrounded by agents who were trying to sell us first class tickets to gorakhpur. it was 11 Am and we had been walking under the sun for 3 hours now without any luck. Diwali was approaching soon and we werent able to get tickets anywhere. We stopped at a restaurant and had our brunch. The cook there turned out to be from Gorakhpur and thats where we had to head. He directed us to a person who helped us get our tickets for a train which would leave at 7 in the evening.

We started commuting by local buses as didnt really wanna get cheated at the beginning of our trip itself. Delhi hat was one of the nice places we visited and then settled and the sports bar owned by zee tv for drinks until later.

The train journey to Gorakhpur was amazing. Probably the best I ever had and to Rathan the first Indian train journey and probably his last. lol. We were probably the only non Bihari's on the train along with a couple from the UK. Busy chattering away with the Brits and I realize something is wrong. Our fellow travellers had a misconception we were talking about them! hahahah.... Explanations were given and justifications for no reason.

Now the best part of the journey... I wake up the next day to find the seat in the washroom broken. Someone has removed the seat and kept it aside making the toilet an indian style drainage. hahahah.... can u beat that?

The train got delayed by a couple of hours. On the way quite a few cities fell, Lucknow, Patna?? not sure, Ghaziabad and many more. The 4 of us got of at the train in Gorakhpur and headed to a travel agent. After a furious argument with him, we got a cab to take us to Sanoli border for 900 INR. The moment we got into the cab, Rathan and I started drinking and by the time we reached the border, we were pissed drunk. Well yes Rum it was. Sanoli was hot and we crossed the border by foot. The couple with us had to get a visa done at the immigration office and in the meanwhile i was playing a fool with the immigration people and clicking their pictures. Guess the liked me, they didn't even check Ratan and my ID cards and let us cross the border without any identification. hahaha... We crossed the border and sat at some tibetian indian fast food joint which served some nice beer as well. We had all the time in the world as it was barely 2 in the afternoon and our bus to Kathmandu was at 8 in the evening. Laura and Charlie decided they need to get drunk as well, so we all started drinking yet again. The worst part about drinking and travelling is you can't really piss when u want to. :(

All of us fell asleep and woke up to see the sunrise at 4:30 in the morning as we entered Kathmandu. Well the Himalayas are gigantic, the look like bloody Aliens or something. We got off the bus and I could already feel the fresh air i was breathing. Found a hotel to stay for 350 NPR a day which works out to 220 INR. A nice double bedroom. Laurie and Charlie took the room next to us.

too be updated....

Blank it is.

Last night I dreamt one thousand lies
I could see the dawn through a different set of eyes
There in my slumber passing time
Long live the world resting on its side

I walked the orchard with you
Your hand in mine
In the evergreens drinking wine
I saw the snow fall in black and white
Fram the auburn sky
Last night I lived more than one thousand lives
Not one of them survived

Up through the earth and at dawn I came
I crossed the kingdom through venom pouring rain
In the vacuum of my own brigade
Resurrected to make you mine

Orpheus looked back once
She sailed the underworld
No second chances will be earned
I have returned as a phantom now
To walk the bow and stern
Last night I lived more than one thousand lives
Not one of them survived

If we could do better I know that we would
Maybe admit it now, we're not that good
We keep the needle between zero and one
You play your fiddle, baby, I'll play dumb

Into the pastures of our minds
Goes my nearly beloved and I
Blazing two parallel white lines
Through this broken heart spilt open wide

Time may be on my side
But it's mostly far behind
I was the apple of your eye
Now I'm the boy spinning on a wheel there
Stuck with knives
Last night I lived more than one thousand lives
Not one of them survived

Words and Music by Jakob Dylan

So long ago, I don't remember when
That's when they say I lost my only friend
Well they said she died easy of a broken heart disease
As I listened through the cemetery trees

I seen the sun comin' up at the funeral at dawn
The long broken arm of human law
Now it always seemed such a waste
She always had a pretty face
So I wondered how she hung around this place

Chorus:
Hey, come on try a little
Nothing is forever
There's got to be something better than
In the middle
But me & Cinderella,
We put it all together
We can drive it home
With one headlight

She said it's cold
It feels like Independence Day
And I can't break away from this parade
But there's got to be an opening
Somewhere here in front of me
Through this maze of ugliness and greed
And I seen the sun up ahead
At the county line bridge
Sayin' all there's good and nothingness is dead
We'll run until she's out of breath
She ran until there's nothin' left
She hit the end-it's just her window ledge

(chorus)

Well this place is old
It feels just like a beat up truck
I turn the engine, but the engine doesn't turn
Well it smells of cheap wine & cigarettes
This place is always such a mess
Sometimes I think I'd like to watch it burn
I'm so alone, and I feel just like somebody else
Man, I ain't changed, but I know I ain't the same
But somewhere here in between the city walls of dyin' dreams
I think her death it must be killin' me

(chorus)

1: The Girl Next Door
2: O__Lucky_Man ( 1973, Lindsay Anderson)
3: Mysterious Skin
4: BladeRunner FinalCut
5: Man Bites Dog
6: Irreversible
7: Elephant
8: A Chinese Torture Chamber Story by Leon
9: I spit on your grave
10: A Clockwork Orange
11: Caligula
12: El Topo
13: Silip

Words I haven't used since a while:

1: Chodhu
2: Chapadganju
3: Chutku
4: Champanganju
5: bhokka chodhu


Things I haven't done since a while:

1: Shaved
2: Groomed myself
3: Hung out with people
4: Spoken about myself
5: Smiled for no reason
6: Laughed for no reason
7: Rode in the rain all the way from the lake

Things I have been doing since a while:

1: Drinking alone
2: Avoiding people
3: Avoiding confrontation
4: Avoiding debates and arguments
5: Riding alone
6: Travelling alone
7: Drinking alone
8: Walking alone
9: Eating alone
10: Edited
11: Thinking
12: Missing


Things I love the most since a while:

1: My black shawl
2: My spartan chappals
3: My waist pouch
4: My isolation
5: My Ipod
6: My Bike
7: Tavern
8: Styx
9: Hard Rock Cafe

Things and words I hate the most right now:

1: People
2: Promises
3: Commitment
4: Hypocrisy
5: Judgmental
6: Trust

Movies I've seen lately:

1: Hellboy 2
2: Baby Blues
3: Young People Fucking
4: Persepolis
5: The Swindle (film by Federico Fellini)
6: A time to love (film by Alex Lui)
7: Into the wild
8: Little Chenier
9: Transsiberian
10: Mutant Chronicles
11: Pan's Labyrinth
12: Black Belt (Japanese)
13: Where in the world is Osama bin laden
14: The Strangers
15: The lost Samaritan

Death haunts me,
leaves a feeling of guilt and pain.
In my anguish I seek for peace.
In a feeling of regret, I pray to god forgive my sins.
In the memory of a past, so remorse filled.
Engulfed by a fire so fierce, I seem to fade like the sun at dusk.
In the distance I see a flame.
A mirage, an illusion I pursue seeking fate which im sure is just a word!

In my solitude burns a desire for something I can't acquire, this is something I don't deserve.
Like a prisoner I surrender, wounded by misery I shed some tears, aghast by the agony I don't deserve.
Day by day the pain rebels and seems with time I'll burn away....

"Battling with myself within. My guilty consuming the good in me; bit by bit. I still fight cursing my demons, begging my stars for even more radiance and power.But with time I seem to learn that I've lost it all, thats not all I've sold even my soul"

Heart beat increase and I feel the blood gush through my veins,
My head pounds and I see nothing but black.
Crystals from eyes are a toxic radiant.
Don’t touch me for I am a hazard.

My feet wobble, and the body shakes.
Trying to keep myself occupied,
I write this with horrifying tunes playing in my head.
I am human and I feel it, this wouldn’t happen otherwise.

Anger and hate, unconditional love and compassion,
All are complimentary when in love.
It’s an oversight and I’m to blame.
I beg for mercy “loneliness I don’t want”.

One wish to be God,
For I would never hurt you again.
A mistake I made and bewail it all.
I am human and I feel it, this wouldn’t happen otherwise.

Losing you I never want.
Looser I will be without you.
One did say “Lady of Light”
It’s veracious for you are my charm, my triumph.

I am not a poet neither a philosopher,
Just another human in love.
There is nothing without you neither I,
For my identity my soul is yours.

I really do love you,
Not for now, but infinite time.
Earnestly I beseech for your love and forgiveness.

Perfect I am not and never will be,
I am not God to love all, but one and that is you.
Lonely again I don’t want to be for these tears would be intoxicated for the rest of time.
I am human and I feel it, this wouldn’t happen otherwise.

-vagueadonis

"It's just my alcoholic mind!"

Church Street it is, park my bike.
Alcohol is what I need.

Holding a bottle I walk, I walk and walk.
My bottle's empty, what do I do??
Just realized i've reached brigade fuel and not drunk yet.

Rum is what I buy, i know im mixing but ohh hell ya,
alcohol is what I need and I'll be numb in a bit.

Then tomorrow comes, I walk again.
Church Street it is, troubled I am!
What do I need?? My feet are sore, im walking again.
I think to myself what is it??

In pain i was; Depression and misery neverending. Thinking of my past so remorse filled.
Walked in a fairy with the refulgence of the moon, so exquisite.
With time she made me smile and every touch of hers, so sensual I feel through the night.

Engrossed in her thoughts, am a captive in the affection expressed.
Envisage the uniting and I grin; looking at the moon above i beg the same.
Awaiting that touch which I long since time.

Aspiration you are and in my dreams will always stay.
Giving in to my addiction which is so overwhelming,
love is what i feel and it makes me feel blessed
cause i know you feel the same.

A fairy I met.
Gentle and calm, with eyes filled with ambition,
A glowing face, like silver shimmers of the stars by the sea.
Beautiful she is with virtues even more.
A ragged feeling and a single touch to change it all.

Far she lives, away from me. Making it harder with time to grapple.
I wonder to myself 'what is time? An illusion? a deception? A semblance?'
For I can't touch it, see it, but strong enough to believe the existence.
I have no proof, but what i feel is substantial though.

Deep within I know its time. Distress and pain, the cause of all.
Not wanting to yet lay my trust with, for I have no choice as I miss you love.
Desirous of being with you I am and sure with time will lay in your arms.

-vagueadonis

My irritation and cause; I really wonder.
Is it really alright to be the one who's tender.

I wish to live a peaceful life.
No pain, No grievance just a normal world.
Shudder away the vision i see and see the killing and moans so loud.
The colour of blood, substantial enough to prove the same.

Misery and guilt, yells and cries, screams of pain.
Tears of Blood and saber's swords, make me cry.
A recurring dream which makes me sick.

Suicidal I come, an avenging eye I look above..
The steep is deep, my vision a trick.
But in my dream,I know not this.

Sweaty palms, I shuffle in pain.
Nervous and desirous to know what lies ahead..
With bloodshot eyes i stare my fear.

I know there's a grave where i retreat.
But I beg my demons its after you so.

Shivers and chills through my spine and i know there's no way out.

A light in dark you've always been
I need you now.. where are't though.
Take my name or humm something for I will know you are here.
Raise your wand or do something for what you possess I do not.

Fairy you've been and saved my soul,
Shouldn't i await for the same again.

I know you've come, and wont let go.
with a screeching call I lift myself.
A force so strong from within, my sight now relatively clear..
I feel your warmth, your arms and the reality,
you save me yet again..

-vagueadonis

Reality is a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs. ~Lily Tomlin


Drugs may be the road to nowhere, but at least they're the scenic route. ~Author Unknown


Half the modern drugs could well be thrown out the window except that the birds might eat them. ~Martin H. Fischer, Fischerisms


A miracle drug is any drug that will do what the label says it will do. ~Eric Hodgins

In the 1960s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal. ~Author Unknown


God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust? ~Graffiti

Pharmaceutical companies will soon rule the world if we keep letting them believe we are a happy, functional society so long as all the women are on Prozac, all children on Ritalin, and all men on Viagra. ~The Quote Garden